This weeks post is for all of my fellow moms out there!
I was having dinner with one of my best friends a few nights ago and we got on the topic of Mother's Day which is coming up soon and what we wanted most. What we wanted and what pretty much every mom out there asks for is to do nothing on Mother's Day. What moms are really asking when they say they want to do nothing is they want help with their to dos. They don't want to be responsible for their to dos that day and would like assistance with doing them. Whether that be help with the laundry, help with the errands, help with the cleaning and organizing, help with the cooking, help with kid's homework. We all want the help from our families on Mother's Day so that we don't have to take responsibility over all of these things...for at least a day.
So, this got us talking even more - we were at the restaurant talking about this for hours - I think the waitstaff was getting annoyed. I am a single mom and business owner and my friend is married and stays at home with her kids but both of us felt the exact same way. Moms have a huge amount of responsibilities. There are those that we have no choice in like feeding and protecting our children and those that we have a bit of a choice in - like cleaning the house rather than just letting it become dirty. However, we never feel like we have the choice of asking for help.
Why is that?
Why can't moms, some of the busiest people in the world with life changing responsibilities and no time off, ask for help? Or why don't moms ask for help more? There are many excuses we give for this but the main reason is that many of us don't want to seem like we can't handle everything ourselves. If we ask for help it is like saying we can't do our job as a mom.
Well, I've got news for you. People in every other position ask for help and don't think about it- our kids and spouses get our help everyday, CEO's have assistants and we help our clients. Moms deserve a little help more than anyone and it is okay to ask for it, and not just on Mother's Day.
Be realistic about all of the things you do each and every day that NEED to be done. Take out a piece of paper and write a list. I bet it is long!
Now circle the 3 things you most would love help with and don't feel embarrassed. They can be anything from laundry to paying bills to driving to activities to putting the kids to bed.
These three things are what you should ask for help with. But don't just ask for your husband or kids to do the laundry or the grocery shopping just on Mother's Day. Tell them that this is what you need help with everyday. Whether that means turning over the laundry responsibility to your teenager, asking your husband to take responsibility over the bills, hiring someone to help you organize your home or setting up a carpool so you don't have to drive to every activity, just figure out what would truly help you and ask for it.
There is no shame in asking for help! Do not feel guilty for this. Just because you are a mom does not mean that you have to do everything. Just because you CAN do it all does not mean that you have to.
So, just ask for the professional organizing gift certificate, ask for the laundry service where you can send out your clothes, or pay the extra fee to have your groceries delivered. Please leave a comment about what you want to ask for and have never been able to.
And one more thing...if all you want is a day without your kids, don't feel bad about that either...you are not alone.